It is quite possible that you are an idiot.

Do you train hard and eat well? Do you heat your ‘healthy’ food up in a microwave? If you do, THEN YOU ACTUALLY ARE AN IDIOT. Had the manufacturers named them “radar/ radiation ovens”, which is what they should be called, you or or loved ones may have decided against buying one.

I always felt a bit funny about microwaves, that ol’ gut feeling. So when I started studying nutrition and fell into the world of finding out about all of the SH*T that companies do just to make money, I forced my Dad to give his microwave to a guy who I thought was a total d*ck. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but that d*ck thought all of his Christmases had come at once. My conscience panged a little. But not enough. Happy Christmas, idiot.

A few fantastic reasons to f*ck out YOUR microwave oven (sources at end of article):

1. When you cook food in a microwave, every last bit of it behaves in your body like it is totally burnt, it may as well ALL be jet black and charred. Acrylamide* is created in the process, the same cr*p that comes out of your car exhaust. Mmm…tasty.
2. Microwaved food tastes bad.
3. Continually eating food processed from a microwave oven can cause brain damage (WTF) by “shorting out” electrical impulses in the brain. Jaysus tonight.
4. The human body has not yet evolved enough to deal with wheat, so for f*ck’s sakes  how could it possibly break down the mysterious byproducts that are created in the microwaving process.
5. By eating microwaved foods over a long period of time, male & female hormone production can be shut down/ messed with  perhaps involved in fertility issues… and maybe that is why 8 year old girls (and some boys)  have b**bs.
6. The effects of microwaved food by-products are residual within the human body – that means you are causing irreversible damage, so STOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPP!!!
7. Macro and micronutrients (vitamins and minerals) in all microwaved food can be reduced or altered so that the human body gets little or no benefit, or that our bodies absorb altered/changed compounds that cannot be broken down. So there is absolutely no point in eating healthy food out of a microwave, it is total waste of time.
8. The minerals in vegetables are altered into cancerous free radicals when cooked in microwave ovens i.e. microwaves are considered to be cancer causing machines!!
9. Microwaved foods are thought to cause tumours. 
10. Microwaved food can suppress the immune system as it decreases white blood cells. Do not let a sick person near microwaved food…ever. Unless you hate them of course.
11. Eating microwaved food can cause memory loss, decreased concentration,  and so essentially, a loss of intelligence. I for one, being blonde, cannot risk this one.
12. Under the impact of the micro-waves produced in ovens, naturally occurring amino acids have been observed to be changed into toxic forms. Yes, TOXIC!!
13. Microwaves are thought to cause cataracts and macular degeneration.
14. In the former Soviet Union, microwaves were actually banned in the late 1970s due to their negative health consequences. The ban was lifted after the fall of communism, in the early 90’s.

But what annoys me most about microwaves? When you assh*les put your child’s bottle of milk inside the microwave, press start, possibly humming with pride to yourself that you are saving yourself all of TWO MINUTES and then put the thing into your babies mouth for them to drink all the sh*t that leached out of the bottle and into the milk. F*ck you. Dr. Lita Lee wrote in the highly esteemed medical journal The Lancet among other things that: “It’s bad enough that many babies are not nursed, but now they are given fake milk (baby formula) made even more toxic via microwaving.”

To be honest, no FDA or official studies have proven microwaves to be 100% harmful, but we all know that these studies can be; limiting/misleading/biased/funded by the wrong side etc. So you can do one of two things (A) wait a few more years to find out ‘officially’ that microwaves suck or (B) do yourself a favour and dispose of the effing thing today.

A few things for you to google:

Norma Levitt: a woman who died when blood for her transfusion was microwaved. Yes a woman died because the blood she received was microwaved.

Dr. Hans Ulrich Hertel: a food scientist, was fired for questioning the effects of microwaving food. And then received a gagging order :(. Seriously.

Microwave sickness [according to merriam-webster]:a condition of impaired health reported especially in the Russian medical literature that is characterized by headaches, anxiety, sleep disturbances, fatigue, and difficulty in concentrating and by changes in the cardiovascular and central nervous systems and that is held to be caused by prolonged exposure to low-intensity microwave radiation.

Some OFFICIAL data/ articles/ just interesting reading to open your mind:

Microwaves And Microwave Ovens  By Lita Lee, Ph.D.

Effects of Microwave Radiation on Anti-infective Factors in Human Milk 

The Sh*t that Leaches into Baby Bottles:

Why did Russia Ban the Use of Microwaves?

The Proven Dangers of Microwave Use

The Hidden Hazards of Microwave Cooking

On cancer:

• BBC 

*On acrylamide:

• NCBI/ Pubmed

So do yourself a favour…heat your food up in a pan the old fashioned way, it does not take thaaaat long…